Crash Bandicoot: Enter the shadow realms
by GIGA-Ben
Summary: Cortex is trying to rule the world, and Crash is trying to stop him and... bla bla bla bla, but something else is messing with Neo's mutants. But what is it?
1. Chapter 1

CRASH BANDICOOT 

ENTER THE

SHADOW REALMS

A ZERO IS BORN

Here is a normal house on a normal island but in this very house lies a mystery.

You see in this house nothing is normal. let's enter shall we.

In this room we have bandicoot drying her hair we call her Coco.

"Hey who said that?"

Run!!

"Get back here."

In this room we have a bandicoot that is half cyborg called Crunch who knows what he could be doing?

Making a laser or maybe a ship… wait he's moving out of the way he's… he's………….

playing with the pinky bear set.

"Huh? Who are you get out of here close the door."

Okay the first two didn't so well but here is a playful bandicoot who we like to call crash

"Shabab kaaaaaaaaa!"

Crash you don't understand its part of the story what are you doing with that baseball bat.

Uh! Ah! help!! Oh god I think I'm bleeding! OH MY F……..the following word has been censured.

"Hey Crash what's in the bag?" Coco asked.

"Hem…………..PANCAKES!!" Crash said nervously.

"So were you going Crash?"

Sho vshake. (To the lake)

"Oh, have a good time." Coco said.

"Shaabbab?" (Isn't this were the narrator says something?)

Oh yeah.

Crash pulls out some car keys and unlocks a titan just like you would do with your

car…or your bike …or even your pet squirrel…or…

"OK WE GET IT!" Crash said.

Er…Crash

"Oh yeah I mean VE E SHU."

Ok I was just saying.

Were are we oh yeah. As Crash was going to the lake he thought why not sing a song in his head.

I'm off to dump a body

Dump a body in the lake.

I'm off to dump a body

Dump a body in the lake.

"Vuee" (Is that it?)

Well Crash I didn't say it was much of a song.

"Shaveeee numar" (Listen here bub if ever make me say another song like that it will also be you in this bag)

Wow two narrates dead, I'll be good.

When Crash arrives the lake he feels a big rumble.

Then Cortex comes out of the lake with he's serpent titan.

cricket chirps

I said then Cortex comes out of the lake with he's serpent titan.

whisper Hey Cortex its time for your part.whisper

"Oh yeah, I know I was just finishing my bagel."

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I've finally made the mutant that will destroy you Crash bandicoot and then…

Hey what's in the bag?"

"Hem...PANCAKES"

"Oh… that's strange whenever I see you here with a bag your always dumping pancakes."

"Hem nana" (yeah)

"Ok, were was I, oh yeah, then I will rule the world."

To be continued…..

…immediately

Crash whistles and Coco and Crunch come out of no where.

"Since when did we get such good hearing?" asked Coco.

"Oooooo plot hole" said Crunch.

"Ok Crunch, we asked you to stop saying that in Captain Liam 4000's story" said Cortex.

"My spider sense is tingling' did someone call a web slinger" said Crunch.

"Errr Crunch" said Coco

"What, The Spider man script, which fool did this?" asked Crunch angrily.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…IT WAS…HAHAH… IT WAS ME!" laughed Cortex.

"Now I will destroy you all."

Sure you will Cortex.

"What are you talking about of course I will."

No you won't.

"Yes I will"

NO YOU WON'T!

"YES I WILL!"

NO YOU WON'T!

"YES I WILL!"

NO YOU WON'T!

"YES I WILL!"

NO YOU WON'T!

"Oh yeah what makes you say that."

I'm the narrator and what I say goes like this…….

Crash pulls out a controller with a button that says 'DESTROY CORTEX'S SERPENT TITAN.'

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Cortex yells nearly crying.

Yes I can and you know why…...because I'm the narrator and your not.

Push it Crash push it.

And Crash pushes like there's no tomorrow.

"Wow I'm hungry, maybe Crash will let pancakes." Coco said

They turn around and see Crash dumping he's _pancakes_.

"Oh man what am I make when I get home?" Coco asked.

"PANCAKES!" yells Crash.


	2. Chapter 2

ZAP HARD:

WITH AVENGANCE…..

….AND

TWO CUPS OF COFFE

"Hey guys what should I put on my pancakes?" asked Coco.

"SHARAPI!" (SYRUP!) Replied Crash.

"Oh man why does Crash have to speak like that, Crunch mean if wasn't

for this narrator guy we wouldn't even know what he's saying."

"Yeah how did Crash end up speaking like that?"

…Oh you're asking me! Yeah I remember it was the same time as when Cortex

ended up only having sideburns and a spring of hair.

It was back where Crash was being created. Cortex had Elvis hair and two girls

in bikinis next to him and then……

"Woooh wait one sec Cortex used to have more hair…….and he was a chick magnet! Now I've seen everything!"

Then a tribesman comes to the door.

"Uga boga." The tribesman said.

"What did he say?" asked Coco.

Crunch pulls out a book called _how to speak tribesman._

"He's saying that he has a toe growing in he's button belly…oh I mean belly button".

"Gee gee" the tribesman said pointing to his belly button.

"Okay now I've seen everything." Coco said.

Okay let me finish the story.

"So what are you doing Cortex?" the girls said.

"Good question ladies, I'm making a mutant bandicoot to lead my army."

"Nitrus Brio! Get in here, and bring the bandicoot!" Cortex yelled.

"Coming!" Brio shouted.

"Tie that thing to the EVOVLO-RAY."

"Ah Cortex, how's my no.1 employee and what's he doing?" Uka Uka said.

"Wait, Uka Uka wouldn't have been there." Coco said.

So I may of lied about a few things, but hey, its story. Now let me finish the story.

"Fine and I'm making a mutant bandicoot to lead my army."

"Great, as usual, in fact I'm giving you a promotion along with your hair" said Uka Uka

"Well it is great" Cortex said.

"Right again, for that I'm doubling your promotion starting tomorrow."

"Hi sir" Brio said.

"Who the heck are you?"

"Oh that's just the less smart, less handsome, less good looking hair, Nitrus Brio." Cortex explained.

"Oh yeah, I'm demoting you." Uka Uka said.

"W…Wh…Why?" Brio asked.

"Because your, less smart, less handsome, and you have less good looking hair than Cortex…in fact you barley have any hair at all."

"Technically he's bald." Cortex pointed out.

"Did you just talk back at me...because you have every right to" Uka Uka said

"But Uka Uka if demote him then who will be my assistant?" asked Cortex.

"Oh don't worry Cortex I've got you a new assistant here is picture of her" Uka Uka said.

Cortex and Uka Uka giggle at a picture of a woman in a bikini.

"Oh and I haven't forgot about you Brio" Uka Uka said with a grin.

Then Uka Uka pulls out a picture of N-gin in a bikini.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD… MY EYES!" Brio screamed.

"And the bikini is his uniform" Uka Uka said.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Brio screamed again.

"Ok let's get it on with." Cortex said.

The ray hits the bandicoot and……BOOOOOOM

Crash is made.

"Welcome bandicoot my name Cortex and…"

"What's the N stand for? Nerd" Crash asked

"No, its stands for…."

"Nincompoop!" Crash said

"NOOO!" Cortex says ripping a chunk of hair.

"Oooo" the ladies said in disgust.

"No it stands for…"

"N…."

"Oh that's it!" Cortex screamed.

Then Cortex pulls out gun and zaps Crash making him speak things like Shaba kaba.

"Crash why are you looking at my hair like that?" Cortex asked.

Crash jumps at Cortex's hair and let's just say this, bye bye hair.

And then all the promotions got cancelled and he isn't a chick magnet anymore.

Now Uka Uka hates him.

THE END.

"How can you prove it? Coco asked.

Well I do have a picture, but you don't want to see it.

"Hit me" Coco said.

"OW! I don't mean like that Crash."

Ok you asked for it…a picture of N-gin in a Bikini.

"AHHHHHHHH!" The three of them screamed, and me.

The next day…

Crunch and Aku Aku where playing a nice friendly game of 'ROBOT SMASHER 3 DEATH KILL ARENA' 'RATED BAD FOR EVERYONE'.

"GAME OVER PALYER 1 WINS" the game said.

"YES! Now Crunch isn't a in your face guy but… YEAH, IN YOUR F…the following word has been censured… FACE, WHOOOO.

"What, why are looking at me?"

"We where on air this whole time, so they heard everything…oh God." said Crunch.

"I never win, although I don't have any hands so maybe that's the problem."

In the background Crunch is crying saying "My career is ruined".

"Hey that's bad for Crunch's rep, now change it.

No

"Yes"

No

"Yes"

No

"Yes"

Maybe I don't want to Crunch; now get back in your corner and CRY!

"Lousy good for nothing narrator, maybe Crunch will kill him later" Crunch mumbled.

"Hey everybody shut up and listen to me" Coco said.

"Sha! Bscof!" (No! how about you shut up!) Crash said.

"Ok" Coco said in scared voice.

"Crash, let her speak, what is it Coco? Aku Aku asked.

"Ok I was searching for more power crystals until I found this thing, so I scanned it and…

"…and what?

"It had more power than 50,000000 power crystals put together."

"Coco do you know where it is?" Aku Aku said.

"In the woods."

"Let's go before Cortex gets to it."

MEANWHILE

"Ok I've just found out about a mega crystal in the woods you know what to do!"

Cortex said.

"I feel like we've done this before" Nina say's confusedly.

"WE'LL DUR WE DO IT EVERY CRASH GAME." Cortex say's.

MEANWHILE AGAIN

Ok Crash, Coco and Crunch are you ready… Crunch what are you doing NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Not again, we need another narrator.


	3. Chapter 3

LITTLE ORANGE BANDICOOT 

AND THE LITLE BAD GENIUS

Okay where are we, sorry it's my first time. Oh dear in I don't where I am oh god…

POOF! POOF!

"Thank god somebody shot that narrator." Coco said.

"Yeah he was wasting time of the reader's life, nice one Crash." Crunch said.

"Shada baba." (No problem) Crash said.

"So now what? There's no more narrators." Coco says normally.

Pist, hey you three.

"Oh hey Author."

No don't talk to me, listen I've ran out of narrators so do what you want for now and…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Coco shouts. "Don't say that, remember last time."

No why, what happened.

"That happened." Coco shouts.

… … … … … … … … … … …

Sorry I don't know what's going on you know with there being no narrator…so Crunch you know what to do.

"YEAH! Crunch get two pay checks for being the narrator."

Ok Crunch sees Crash running through the house with… OMG! He's…he's NAKED!

Oh god my eyes Crunch can't see.

A (Author): Crunch tell us what you see.

Well you try to tell them what's happen when your eyes are burning from the sight.

A: That's it Crunch your FIRED!!!

"GASP."

TO BE CONTINUED…

…IMMEDIATELY

A: That's it Crunch your FIRED!!!....

"GASP."

A:…from being the narrator.

"Oh." Coco said.

A: Well what did you think; I was going to fire him for good?

"Of course not."Coco said, "You know what's wrong with this chapter?" she asked.

"What?"Crunch replied.

"The title." Coco said.

A:Hey What's wrong with the title?

"Well it's called LITTLE ORANGE BANDICOOTAND THE LITLE BAD GENIUS." Coco said.

A: So.

"Well the title is based on little red riding hood... and it sounds like it would be based in the woods or something." Coco said annoyed.

A: And your point is...

"MY POINT IS IT MAKES NO SENSE" Coco shouted angrily." "I'm not going rest until I make you change it." she said.

A: Shut up Coco.

"NO."

A:SHUT UP COCO I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE.

"Well why not put something like IS YOUR FATE TO NARRATE, or something like that.

A: Okay I'll use something like that for the next chapter were I do base it in the woods.

"NOOOO!"

YES! In fact I'm going to start it as soon as I find a narrator.

"OO OO PICK CRUNCH!"

_No Crunch leave it to the pro._

A: A narrator...YES NOW I CAN START THE 4TH CHAPTER AND NOT GIVE TWO PAY CHECKS TO CRUNCH!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."Crunch and Coco shouted.

"Ka ba ku ki." (Why haven't I said anything for a while) Crash said annoyed.


	4. Chapter 4

IS YOUR FATE TO...UR...UR...I MEAN

I CANT READ IT COCO...NO DONT SHOOT

IT SOUNDS WIERD

OK...OK

WHERE OF TO SEE THE

SUPER POWERFUL CRISTAL 

IN THAT CREEPY SHADOW THING

IN THE WOODS

OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!

THE WONDERFUL

SUPER POWERFUL CRISTAL 

IN THAT CREEPY SHADOW THING

IN THE WOODS

Okay Coco I said it, but you know most people are going to think this is stupid so I'm going to have to have to cut your salary.

"Mr narrator sir can I be 2nd in command narrator !?" Crunch asked.

No.

"PLEASE!"

No.

"PLEASE!"

No.

"PLEASE!"

No.

"PLEASE!"

No now cutting yours and Coco's and if Crash starts then you're all going to be fir..... what's with the bag and gun..... POOF POOF!

"Thank god someone shot him" Coco said.

"Yeah he was getting on Crunch's nerve."

I'm so proud of you guy's, you've gone 2 weeks without killing any of my narrators and I'd...

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!

For the love of god, what's wrong with you, why do you always kill my narrators?

Never mind, meet the new narrator...

.................

.................

Hmm where is he, oh well he will turn up later.

Now if you don't mind I'll be giving this well done cake to Crash.

Crash!

......

THIS MAY TAKE A WHILE

!

Ok

I'm finished.

Crash is that my new narrator lying brutally murdered on the floor?

"Ker"(yeah) Crash said.

CANT ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE NOT KILL MY NARRATORS!

"I don't think Aku-Aku killed any of your narrators" Coco said.

I'll give this cake to him then.

Where is he?

"His room" Crunch said.

Oh Aku-Aku.

"DIE HILLY BILLY!" Aku-Aku shouted.

No stop Aku-Aku.

"Hu?"

That's my new narrator.

"Oh"

"Hey Aku-Aku can I ... OH CRUNCH'S GOD, it a hilly billy, Crunch will go get the gun.

"No Crunch thats the new narrator" Aku-Aku explained.

"WHAT!!!!!" Crunch shouts nearly blowing away Aku-Aku.

"They will have him as a narrator but not me"

"Im going to see what Coco up to" Aku-Aku.

"Hey Coco wot you up to?" asked Coco.

"Oh im getting..."

Hehehe

"huh?"

"Well im getting..."

Hehehe

"Ok so funny"

Your name sounds like......like....like coocoo

Hahahahahhahaha your coocoo

"Ok"

"Well anyway im getting for that crystal" Coco replied.

"So when setting off?"

What do you mean where already in the woods

"Huh?"

"When did we get here?" Coco asked.

Oh I just took you from what you was doing and put you here.

"Ok then I ......OH GOD YOU TOOK CRASH OF HIS OUT OF HIS SHOWER"

So your point is...

"MY POINT IS HIS NAKED!!!" Coco shouted.

Oh fine then... now look he's got close on

"The scary woods is no place for pinky bear" Crunch said.

"Well according to the locator the crystal the is in this area.

Well der I put you near it. Its right over there.

"why"

Do you know how boring it is to read about people looking around for something.

What are you waiting for... go get comes with a suprise

"Oh right come on"

"Grab it Crash"

"Bleer (Got it)"

"Yeah we got it before Cortex" Coco cheered.

"Wait Whats it doing..."

This is the suprised...SUPRISE!!!!!

""

Yep there gone to a different place.

Some place I don't even no where.


End file.
